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Re: CCIE [7:65426] posted 03/14/2003
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Ah, so I see somebody is familiar with Hugh Gallagher's infamous essay.

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Juan Blanco"
> To:
> Sent: Friday, March 14, 2003 6:34 AM
> Subject: CCIE [7:65426]
> > Team,
> > I got this from a friend but I not sure if you have seen this or not but
> > only someone pursuing the CCIE would laugh at it!!
> > In the course of my day-to-day work, people ask me what is a CCIE? I
> thought
> > about this for some time. I wrote some notes. And this is what I came up
> > with:
> > I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling 8 foot computer racks and
> charming
> > magnetic security cardswipes. I have been known to remodel SME networks
> > my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of capital
> > deployment, reliability and performance. I translate technobabble for
> > Management, I write award-winning technical presentations and deliver
> > better than an American president announcing tax cuts.
> > I can recite complete chapters of the Cisco Documentation CD, backwards
> and,
> > with little effort and at the same time, perform decimal to binary
> > conversion for very large numbers.
> > I woo women with my sensuous and godlike MIDI playing on a notebook. I
> > pilot computer trolleys up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I
> can
> > rack Cisco gear faster than Arnold Schwarznegger can bench press. I am
> > expert in network diagramming tools, a veteran in web surfing, and know
> the
> > Cisco Web Site better than I know my own family.
> > Just to keep it interesting, I occasionally tread water for three days
> while
> > programming Cisco practice labs. I manage time efficiently and can
> complete
> > a timesheet every week. In addition, I know the part number for every
> Cisco
> > router cable.
> > Using only a Chinese AC power cord and a large glass of water, I once
> > single-handedly rebuilt the network core of major co-location facility
> after
> > the roof fell in. I used to play games, but now it's serious. I am the
> > subject of numerous urban myths and I am the creator of a few as well.
> When
> > I'm bored, I test fiber optic cable, calculate power loss sums on UTP
> > the minimum refraction index for 50 micron multimode fiber. I mean, what
> IS
> > the point of it ?
> > I understand that DLSW and Source Route Translational Bridging actually
> has
> > a reason for existence. It's not just IBM playing a practical joke.
> Really.
> > I enjoy urban guerilla activities. I can build a 802.11b parabolic dish
> > antennae using surplus antennae from defunct satellite companies and a
> juice
> > can. It has better performance than off the shelf products. I think that
> > having a wind generator and solar array as power backup for my practice
> lab
> > is not only responsible preparation, it's environmentally friendly too.
> > Wednesdays, after work, I repair old monitors free of charge for my
> > charity.
> > I know that canonical to non-canonical conversion is not about religion,
> > it's about "ART."
> > Microsoft geeks worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy
> > wear, which I don't understand -- it was supposed to be funny. I don't
> > perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been
> caller
> > number ten and have won the cash jackpot.
> > I can speak IPX NLSP, AppleTalk, ATM PVC, QoS, and BGP to name a few,
> > redistribute routes at will, with filtering, using non contiguous masks.
> > install IPV6 on customer sites whenever I can, just so I can play with
> > Same for OSPF NSSA. Children trust me.
> > I can hurl squishy giveaway tradeshow toys at sales personnel with
> stunning
> > accuracy, and ensure that the dweeb from administration gets the blame.
> > have charisma beyond normal mortals; if I didn't the boss would have
> > the other guy to this exam.
> > I once read Cisco Quality of Service, Caslow Bridges and Routers 2nd Ed,

> and
> > Jeff Doyles' Routing TCP/IP Vol2 in one day, and still had time to do
> > practice on a Frame Relay multipoint network, using OSPF and IGRP, split
> > horizon, route maps and ISDN. I know the exact location of every food
> > in the supermarket and I use a link state protocol to calculate the
> shortest
> > path to get there.
> > I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. It was kind of
> fun
> > having them follow me around. I know that security and privacy is a
> > phantasm-like myth created by "security companies" to extract money from
> IT
> > Managers who can't implement a decent security policy. But it's great
> to
> > play with.
> > I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. I know exactly
> how
> > much coffee my body will take to sustain me at peak function. While on
> > vacation, I successfully negotiated with the hotel to fix their network
> > return for free accommodation. The laws of society do not apply to me.
> > I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
> > weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact tech stock day
> > trading. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write
> > down.
> > I can originate default routes, conditionally, after redistributing from
> > classful distance vector protocol. I have made extraordinary four course
> > meals using my Cisco 7500 lab router as a stove (after all its runs all
> the
> > time anyway).
> > I breed prizewinning idioms. Fox Mulder knows my phone number. I have
> spoken
> > with Elvis.
> >
> > Juan Blanco

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